Today, the 25th April 2010, marks the third anniversary of my spinal surgery. When I was thirteen I was diagnosed with scoliosis - curvature of the spine. I had wondered why I was shrinking, and I really was shrinking : problem solved.
Rather, problem begun.

And less than a year later, I had made, what I can see now, the most important decision of my life so far, to have surgery. There are alternative therapies but to a 14 year old girl, crippling and feeling spineless, I knew deep down that the 25th of April would be the day I said hello to 1/2 kilo of titanium and goodbye to my 70 and 50 degree curves.
Now my back looks a little like that. Really close up you can see the nails, and seeing these pictures makes me squirm.
I guess it's difficult to remember now the pain and the sickness of anasthetic, morphine and the knife, so I'm always trying to give it more significance than I truly feel. Like when you lose somebody, and feel you should be more upset than you really are.
I just see my metal spine as a great party trick, and my scars as a great feat, never letting me forget how scared that 14 year-old girl was, and how strong I came out of it.
This is a photo my friend Gracie (see blog 'sketchings') took on her Diana mini last month. I like to look at it now, because it reminds me of the road we drove up to the hospital three years ago, lined inch to inch with daffodils. They looked like they were waving me on. Love daffs.